Beneath the Stains of Time

Love hurts.

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 00:50:01 GMT

So the vet came back into the office with fat girl and his assistant. He had taken her outside to walk her to see how bad her walking was which was pretty bad. She couldn't even stand. Things have gotten worse for her these past couple weeks from having wobbly hind legs to not being able to stand at all. He placed her back on the counter and said, "Well, this is never an easy thing to talk about but.."

And i knew it. I knew he was going to tell me her degenerative spine issue had worsened times 10. No ability to walk with incontinence right around the corner. No pain but a lot of inconvenience for fat girl and heartbreaking for us to see. I knew he was going to tell me it was time to let her go. I nodded because I agreed with him that it is totally inhumane to keep her around the way she was. Everything he said contained logic that I related to. So I nodded my head and tried not to notice my eyes suddenly watering up. I nodded some more hoping for some reason it would stop my eyes from growing redder and moister by the second.

But it was no use. I took one look at fat girl's sweet face and just buried my head in my hand and cried.

The vet was trying to verbally console me. His assistant was crying too which only made me want to cry more. So i did. My mom was stoic. I continued to cry. My mom talked to my siblings on my cell. I continued to cry. I drove us home and missed a couple turns because I was so out of it. Pulled over on the side of the road to have another cry.

Work tomorrow should be a blast.

go neutral

Sun, 02 Jul 2006 17:26:43 GMT

Take action

Mon, 26 Jun 2006 15:34:31 GMT

I was actually considering becoming a certified gym trainer. Even though i have the metabolism of a turtle on downers. I've done enough research and have been working out for a few years now to possess some background fundamentals. And anything else i dont know, i could always teach myself. I like the gym atmosphere, it relaxes me. It's like a protective bubble of sorts.

But the test is like almost a grand. And really hard. And i am too whimsical. I just wanna do everything.

Oh and someone texted me a pic of boobs yesterday. I didn't recognize the number. I'd like to know who it was because those titties were delicious.

Mon, 26 Jun 2006 00:12:58 GMT

No gay pride this weekend. But I did do a duet of the Indigo Girls "closer to fine" with some broad at the karaoke bar and i also danced with a bald dude to Gloria gaynor's "I will survive."

Gay Enough?

I also have bad juju with the car lately. Trip to tampa, got a speeding ticket on the way. Way back home got pounded by rain and had to park off the shoulder because i couldn't see anything. Trip to fort myers, a broad hits my rear bumper at a traffic light. Way back home got pounded by rain as well.

Oh yeah. Go here and watch an Inconvenient truth. And don't let bullshit politics inhibit you from being informed about your planet and the disastrious route it is on and methods we can do to remedy it.

Bitches.

i wanna work in a crackhouse

Tue, 20 Jun 2006 17:25:35 GMT

Got to the interview. Late again. Damn Hollywood and it's circles and my nearsightedness. Didn't matter. Filled out the 20 page application and the interviewer had an emergency. Again, AC's dont like to work when you're wearing a long sleeve blouse. When i first got there, i felt a bit uneasy because the outside resembled a crackhouse. I get to do it all over again next week.

i feel like going bowling.

break on through

Tue, 20 Jun 2006 02:47:37 GMT

This drug documentary on sundance is making me really want to try LSD and ride around the country on an ostentatiously decorated bus.

bumpy transitions

Fri, 16 Jun 2006 15:44:01 GMT

I'm a lil' nervous.

Boy do i love these salad days!

master mixer

Thu, 08 Jun 2006 02:25:22 GMT

Today was one of the best days of my life.

True.

But don't you hate it when people make obscure posts like that?

I do too.

;p

woooooooooooooooooo.

i love everyone that is going through crap. It will get better.

they're baaaaaaack

Fri, 02 Jun 2006 20:28:08 GMT

oh my God. He's doing it again. The fucken gum smacking. I'm ready to stick a screwdriver in my eye just to distract myself from that wretched sound. My insides are spinning in disgust and revulsion. He never chews gum 3 days in a row, he is doing it on purpose to torture me. I cannot work with that appalling racket. I may have to leave early.

Must find a warm place, find a warm place....FUCKEN a. Torture. Uggggg. It's not like i can tell him his gum smacking makes me wanna defenestrate myself. That'd be rude.

FUCK!

kill me

Wed, 31 May 2006 16:55:04 GMT

Love my IT boss. But he smacks his gum something nasty. Makes me never wanna pick up a stick again. And i'm violet beauregard when it comes to gum. i think i'm gonna go to the bathroom and ralph.

before you bitches change yo'minds

Sun, 28 May 2006 20:42:08 GMT

yeah i don't think i want a career in databases. Good money. Hate it. Hate it. Hate it. Cross that off the list. I feel like going outside and torching my 200 hundred dollar database book.

if you think that you're strong enough, if you think you belong enough

Tue, 02 May 2006 04:16:41 GMT

Radiohead and Alice in chains are both touring this summer. I'd sell my ovaries on the internet to see them. They better add a florida date. oh well, another reason to get the hell out of here. *yawns*

I think i'll catch a flick tomorrow or wednesday by myself. havent done that in a while. looking forward to it. And i wish i could just get some anesthesia wake up and have my hair done and attire selected for this friggen wedding. i'm so not feeling up to it. i'd rather go to a bris at this point.

Sat, 29 Apr 2006 22:37:00 GMT

I may break one of my own rules and have a drink tonight even though it isn't sunday. I rule.

good morning, starshine

Fri, 28 Apr 2006 12:54:28 GMT

Fuck me.

lady's stacked

Tue, 18 Apr 2006 21:16:15 GMT

I pulled a titty muscle.

I expect donations of sympathy. ;O

this is spit water worthy, ahh craigslist

Mon, 10 Apr 2006 18:41:39 GMT

Looking for a cleaning lady and personal shopper. Needed ASAP as my house is dirty. No pay but opportunity to get some of my loving if things work out in the future. Nothing glamorous- just cleaning toilets, kitchen, etc. You need to be here quickly and work hard and guarentee me at least Sat Sun Mon.

Fuck i havent had any lovin' in a while. Hmmm.

I'm gonna laugh myself into a cardiac arrest.

Of course nothing is funnier than giving a suspected lesbian an open mouthed wink, screaming that you're down! and then discussing favorite l word characters.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! that shit never gets old. i'm in a serious place of business and i'm laughing like a damn hyena. i love life sometimes.

sunday entry # 2

Sun, 09 Apr 2006 20:00:08 GMT

When I think back on all the crap I learned in high school
It's a wonder I can think at all
And though my lack of education
Hasn't hurt me none
I can read the writing on the wall

I wish i went to a high school where they tried to teach you how to read your own personal compass. Tried to help you figure out what makes you tick, what turns you on. So that you didn't end up a 24 year old college graduate without a clue. Not teach you bullshit concepts you'll never use, yell at you for drinking a soda in the hallway or for wearing shorts in 100 degree florida weather.

My high school sucked ass. My peers, my principle, and the staff were all a bunch of mangy cocksuckers. And i'm being nice when i say that. I wish i could have just went from middle school to college. Skipped high school altogether. I didn't learn shit.

Alright, i will make this day productive. Off to the bookstore, kids.

but i want you to want me too, asshole

Sun, 09 Apr 2006 17:29:53 GMT

I am fucken bored. Please. Someone give me a paper to write or a test to study for. Or a gay club to dance at tonight. Or a heist to pull off. Motherfucker.

Business school.

tin roof, rusted?

Thu, 06 Apr 2006 02:46:01 GMT

Doesn't everyone just love that commercial with the broad who can't find anything to wear so she walks out to her party ass cracked naked?

I just wanna throw a double whopper with cheese (mmmmm) at her.

skinny up the ass.

If i wanted to pinch her ass, i'd feel her tailbone. I'm wet already.

I'm fucken hungry.

Fuck it, i'd wrestle the broad for the whopper back. ooooooh, Barracuda! ;p

Tue, 04 Apr 2006 18:45:08 GMT

I'm sick. Kinda. Therefore i'm easily amused so i laughed when i was looking up this job and instead of a job description, it was just someone's rant about how much the job sucked.

ENTRY LEVEL HELP DESK SUPPORT (13/HR)
this job is at the anwsergroup "TAG" and this person wants the 500$ person referal fee don't feed this person. i worked at tag for 3 years and trust me its not worth the the trouble youll quit after 3 weeks of the $6.15 "aux" that you must take to finish documenting calls the pay scale is a joke cuz you make 12$ an hour of "primary time:" thats when your on a call and aux time 6.15$ so you make 42 hours a week right but 6-7 of them are 6.15 an hour so you think you get over time? hell no its 6.15$ so you get screwed and the 13 hour days are BS as soon as you log in the calls start and dont stop till your time is up so you are taking calls for 13 hours. oh and the training youll get is a joke "this is a keyboard" "it goes here" kinda crap think youll get help from people around you? nope there might be 2 people on the floor who know that there talking about and the'll have a line of people asking them wtf to do. thats not all so you want a raise right? ok youll need 95% or 97% of primary time a week to make that 50cents every 6 months so that means no aux time so you take no breaks and no time to finsih calls so youll have to work 13 hours strait a day for 6 months to make 50 cents good luck . it will get stressfull when you get calls from people screming at you about email or some crap and you have to say this sript and be nice and it pisses them off more then youll have to keep each call under a certain time as well so youll be trying to help them and get rid of them. tag also wants you to get rid of calls more them help them. even tho say say there #1 and want you to give the best customer support 85% of the calls they recieve get the run around or just pushed along. this happens cuz they hire anyone with no skills but talking and hand movment to take tech calls. and then presure them to get off calls faster. i fell sorry for the accounts they have cuz TAG just scams them when people from the accounts come in they pick there best people to have them listen to and show them the best stats on the phones basicly tell them what they wanna hear and such to keep the account calls coming in. but they are still better then india tho. only cuz they are in america. to bad the owners of TAG just dont care about there company. i herd it was a nice place once with a nice payscale i guess the owners just got fat and lazy.

My body's mad at me. I had an upset stomach friday and saturday. Thought i was better on sunday so i drank half a bottle of rum on sunday night. Felt like shit monday but thought it was just a hangover. But i still feel crappy. Better feel better if i'm gonna see Heart thursday night. Magic man and all. My mom's bandana wearing psychic friend who lives in miami beach told her some dude likes me. i don't go out except to hit the gym or the bookstore. So it's either some dude on 'roids or this old man at the bookstore who sits alone at his table and goes "OH!" really loud every 10 minutes. Either way i'm a winner. Stay healthy kids.

5:53pm: I think its funny that i bitch about subway so much and it's been the #1 franchise for 14 years. Quizno's a close second. Dunkin' Donuts (beloved Open Kettle) at #6. starting a franchise is a lot of dough, yo. If i owned a sub franchise, i'd eat all the damn wheat bread. i need soup. And sleep.

Mon, 03 Apr 2006 12:37:51 GMT

She's got the loooooooooooook.
She's got the looooooooooook.
What in the world can make a brown-eyed girl turn bluuuuue
When everything I'll ever do I'll do for you
and I go: LA LA LA LA LA! she's got the look!

who is LOVING losing an hour of sleep and is nursing a lovely hangover? *raises hand weakly*

i need to meet brian at the gym in the hour and he will work me like a george foreman grill and my throat has an aftertaste of cruzan rum.

I am LOVING life right now. I'd sell my ovaries for an extra hour sleep. Why did i decide to get drunk on a sunday. I am never drinking again! Ever, i will only drink tang. Or whatever the astronauts or mormons drink.

i'm so hungry i could eat a woman

Thu, 30 Mar 2006 17:20:58 GMT

Never did i wanna be here again
And i don't remember why i came

I think I'd rather give 5 cent handjobs than to work at subway.

I'd like my customers better probably.

It never fails. I come out of the gym starving like i havent eaten in a millenia, drive 60mph when the speedlimit is like 35mph just to get to subway before the lunch mob gets there. But alas, i was too late. There was already 6 people ahead of me, 2 of them ordering like 50 subs either for their office or their Mormon family. That's one good reason to not procreate so many damn kids, you wouldn't hold the line up at subway when poor broads like myself are so hungry that they'd start gnawing on their pinkies. And i think i got stiffed on the change i got back. Bitches. I don't know why i go there so much. It's too expensive, they barely put any veggies on the damn thing and both the customers and employee act like they're better than me simply because i have a weakness for wheat bread and turkey.

I do rotate and try to go to quiznos more because they have a killer honey burbon chicken sub. But man, I miss Jimmy John's. In tally they were all over the place. They don't have any down here. I've been craving a country club all week. Their wheat bread is divine.

I love fucken wheat bread. I'd marry wheat bread and not make it sign a prenup. I love it that much.

And fuck me. My mom isn't going to Orlando. I'm proud of her because she didnt feel like tagging along just to sit in a hotel room all day and babysit dad. Which is good. But at the same time, i was really looking forward to having the house to myself. The dogs are disappointed too. Now i'm gonna have to cancel the hookers and pinatas. Damn it.

3:02pm: Please. A sequel to Basic Instinct? Coming out this friday. Yeah i'm so gonna be the first one in the theater awaiting for that jewel of a film to come out. First of all, Basic instinct is a great movie. Why produce a sequel 14 years later? Hollywood's a fucken landfill of unoriginal ideas.

God only knows what'd i'd be without you!

Tue, 28 Mar 2006 05:06:18 GMT

Dude. That new HBO show "Big Love" has totally ruined the Beach Boys tune "God only knows" for me. Now when i hear it, i can't stop thinking about polygamists. Damn it.

I wanna visit key west. And the glades. Explore florida meticulously. Because i know i will leave it. Someday. Who knows. Sleep.

zulia

Wed, 22 Mar 2006 00:30:33 GMT

I was driving home from fort laud, listening to Jefferson airplane on an oldies station. There was a call-in contest and some broad won a 4 pack of tickets to some orchid show in miami. She was hispanic with an accent that was very familiar to me. She was sweetly very excited. Then she busted out with, "oooh, I am so happy to go to theese show because i am from Venezuela and we have theee best orchids in the world!".

My heart melted. I was like, represent sistah! She was so cute.

Then i was swept by a wave of pride and nostalgia. I haven't been to venezuela since i was 13, before we moved back to the states and took up shop in Illinois. I would like to go back and visit but sadly i do not see that happening until someone wises up and puts a bullet through Hugo Chavez's head. The man is psychotic and ruining that beautiful country with his irate dictatorship of a presidency. It's sad.

Other news, i can't believe both the Venezuela and USA teams got eliminated in the World Baseball classic. I'm shamed for both my beloved countries. Baseball is the top sport in each of them. I still love them both very much. God, i feel so much damn patriotic pride right now. I love both my countries to death but hate both my presidents.

we can boogie on down!

Sat, 18 Mar 2006 17:54:57 GMT

Yeah. Earth, Wind & Fire ruled. During their kick ass rendition of September, these 2 broads dragged my mom out onto the aisle and danced with her. I laughed my ass off. my mom then dragged me out and we all danced together. It was swell. I then noticed that one of the broads was kinda cute. I'm such a les. My mom sat down afterwards but i stayed out there dancing through all the party jams. Me and a bunch of 40 year olds. They were dancing in couples and i was jumping up and down like i was at a NIN concert, alice in chains shirt and all. Sometimes i do like myself.

My mom had fun. I'm glad. Judy, one of the broads that we were dancing with told me how cute it was that i go to concerts with my mom. I'm just a very adorable person. ;p

Now i'm getting ready to hit global gathering, alone. Nobody could come or wanted to, so i'm going stag. I'm thinking of sticking some protein bars in my bra. For kicks. I probably missed flyleaf already but they were set to play too early. I just wanna see Rob and my husband and they won't come out till nighttime but i wanna go soon anyways because i love rock festivals, i love the whole vibe and the subtle smell of weed that lingers in the air. I want to browse the overly priced shirts and pay 5 bucks for a micro sized dasani water bottle. I will be beat by the end of the night. I don't think i will stick around for Tommy Lee scratching records with his dj friends. Now if he had other members of the crue with him, well that would be another story. Got my NIN downward spiral shirt on and food in my belly. Ready to roll. Rock on.