So the vet came back into the office with fat girl and his assistant. He had taken her outside to walk her to see how bad her walking was which was pretty bad. She couldn't even stand. Things have gotten worse for her these past couple weeks from having wobbly hind legs to not being able to stand at all. He placed her back on the counter and said, "Well, this is never an easy thing to talk about but.."

And i knew it. I knew he was going to tell me her degenerative spine issue had worsened times 10. No ability to walk with incontinence right around the corner. No pain but a lot of inconvenience for fat girl and heartbreaking for us to see. I knew he was going to tell me it was time to let her go. I nodded because I agreed with him that it is totally inhumane to keep her around the way she was. Everything he said contained logic that I related to. So I nodded my head and tried not to notice my eyes suddenly watering up. I nodded some more hoping for some reason it would stop my eyes from growing redder and moister by the second.

But it was no use. I took one look at fat girl's sweet face and just buried my head in my hand and cried.

The vet was trying to verbally console me. His assistant was crying too which only made me want to cry more. So i did. My mom was stoic. I continued to cry. My mom talked to my siblings on my cell. I continued to cry. I drove us home and missed a couple turns because I was so out of it. Pulled over on the side of the road to have another cry.

Work tomorrow should be a blast.

I was actually considering becoming a certified gym trainer. Even though i have the metabolism of a turtle on downers. I've done enough research and have been working out for a few years now to possess some background fundamentals. And anything else i dont know, i could always teach myself. I like the gym atmosphere, it relaxes me. It's like a protective bubble of sorts.

But the test is like almost a grand. And really hard. And i am too whimsical. I just wanna do everything.

Oh and someone texted me a pic of boobs yesterday. I didn't recognize the number. I'd like to know who it was because those titties were delicious.

No gay pride this weekend. But I did do a duet of the Indigo Girls "closer to fine" with some broad at the karaoke bar and i also danced with a bald dude to Gloria gaynor's "I will survive."

Gay Enough?

I also have bad juju with the car lately. Trip to tampa, got a speeding ticket on the way. Way back home got pounded by rain and had to park off the shoulder because i couldn't see anything. Trip to fort myers, a broad hits my rear bumper at a traffic light. Way back home got pounded by rain as well.

Oh yeah. Go here and watch an Inconvenient truth. And don't let bullshit politics inhibit you from being informed about your planet and the disastrious route it is on and methods we can do to remedy it.

Bitches.

Got to the interview. Late again. Damn Hollywood and it's circles and my nearsightedness. Didn't matter. Filled out the 20 page application and the interviewer had an emergency. Again, AC's dont like to work when you're wearing a long sleeve blouse. When i first got there, i felt a bit uneasy because the outside resembled a crackhouse. I get to do it all over again next week.

i feel like going bowling.

This drug documentary on sundance is making me really want to try LSD and ride around the country on an ostentatiously decorated bus.

I'm a lil' nervous.

Boy do i love these salad days!

Today was one of the best days of my life.

True.

But don't you hate it when people make obscure posts like that?

I do too.

;p

woooooooooooooooooo.

i love everyone that is going through crap. It will get better.

oh my God. He's doing it again. The fucken gum smacking. I'm ready to stick a screwdriver in my eye just to distract myself from that wretched sound. My insides are spinning in disgust and revulsion. He never chews gum 3 days in a row, he is doing it on purpose to torture me. I cannot work with that appalling racket. I may have to leave early.

Must find a warm place, find a warm place....FUCKEN a. Torture. Uggggg. It's not like i can tell him his gum smacking makes me wanna defenestrate myself. That'd be rude.

FUCK!

Love my IT boss. But he smacks his gum something nasty. Makes me never wanna pick up a stick again. And i'm violet beauregard when it comes to gum. i think i'm gonna go to the bathroom and ralph.